Friends Karen

Well it seems that I lost 2 of my friends. Last night I got a text from Karen… “Sorry haven’t been around. Am going thru some painful feelings. Need time to sort out I guess.”  I texted back, “friends don’t treat friends like that, there is no loyalty and to be honest I’m really sick of excuses do whatever you want” , she texted back “goodbye”  I’m not sure how to take that, either it is over or she can’t deal with me being honest.  It’s not like she has friends crawling out her ass. She does not have a support system. She has been in a relationship for close to 32 years. She just told me that her partner wants to live alone. She has to find a different place to live in the future. She just now got a cell phone other than that she has nothing in her name.

She is the one that found me 4 years ago. It had been over 25 years since we had talked. When we were younger we played guitars together. We met at a church camp. I think I was 15. When I came back from Milwaukee, we became lovers I was 19 and it was the first time that I was with a woman. So there is a lot of history between us. She even came to visit 2 years ago. We had the best time ever.

I had given her some stuff to sell and she told me that the money was in the mail. I knew it was a lie my gut was telling me so. So I said fine and waited a little longer. Found out later she spent the money. So she started to pay me back 10 to 20 bucks at a time. There was nothing ever consistence to the payments. I got sucked in by all her empty promises. I did it on a couple occasions, so that is shame on me…  

I want to believe the best about people, actions speak loud than words. I can say I really don’t trust Karen anymore. Part of me feels dead inside about the whole thing. I guess I let people step all over me, but when I have had enough, decisions come easier. I’m feeling fed up, pissed off, hurt and used. Maybe that is why my brother Mark said to be careful, he said that she really fucked him over, probably more than once too.

So I am left with the unknown. Will she call or won’t she, if she does what would I say? So here comes the part where I have to turn it over, easier said than done…